How to be cooler than you actually are.

           Presenting:

                               What Not To Do...

            Life is tough all over. We don't cry about it or bring a gun to the movies. Life follows a near static set of rules just like anything else and if you're not where you want to be, you probably don't give these rules the proper amount of respect. Well congratulations because the first step in the process is admitting the problem. If you're reading this, than you are admitting that what you are doing is not working. Not cool enough? Not as strong as others? Problems getting the girl? Maybe you lack in multiple categories. I can help. 

    

             We're not all born cool. We're not all born adept at making friends. As a matter of fact, very few of us naturally draw affection from others. It takes planned effort and an understanding of how things actually work to reap the rewards of a charmed existence. Success in life is not a given. If you can agree that life and ones social standing is subject to certain "rules" or "laws" than you can only deduce that if you're not where you want to be, it's because you're not following the rules. I have seen the ugliest man in the building pull more a** than Ron Jeremy. I have witnessed the most unlikely of hero's save the day and have watched the meek have inherit the head cheerleader. It's absolutely possible that this can happen naturally but a little understanding of the psychology behind it will make it probable.      Good looks can only get your foot in the door, the rest is personality and this can be shaped and molded. You have to understand that a personality is the accumulation of social skills that you picked up from others during your formative years. We rarely give our personality a second thought but we should. Insight of self is very important. You need to know how people react to you and what behavior you were exhibiting that gained each particular reaction and tweak accordingly. Most of us are already Cool inside our own heads but a lot gets lost in the translation because, other people as a whole, or a group of people within a particular social class, or even your 10th grade homeroom, will see you a lot differently than you see yourself and judge you accordingly. That's a fact.  These judgements happen quickly and without mercy. Nearly everyone you meet will quantify you according to the unwritten guidelines of being slick, smooth or pimp. Most of us choose to believe that others just don't see how down we really are. We choose to believe that we are simply misunderstood. This is acceptance. You've allowed others to place you on a tier of their choosing and have accepted the results. This classification has a way of following you throughout your entire life. Your social standing in middle school will carry into High School and will probably permeate into everything you will ever do. The closer you become to the bottom (the kid that had lice and wears the plastic NIKE's with a checkmark underneath. Not a swoosh. A frickin' checkmark)the more life stacks against you. The middle is OK but at the top is Cool. That's where you want to be. You want to be Cool. Being Cool will benefit you in nearly everything you do. I'm not saying that being Cool will ensure success, but life so often puts you within inches of the goal line and self assuredness is paramount to distinguishing yourself from the group. You will tolerate greater risk in your choices and reap greater reward. The sure-footed man will prove the path and encourage followers. The more followers you have behind you means less traffic in front of you.            The rules are hard for most people to pin down so you rarely see them in writing and most of what you do see is bull sh*t. This is not bullsh*t.  I was blessed to be born good looking and smart(it doesn't hurt to be well-kempt either). I wasn't born very cool but I was smart enough to quickly figure it out once puberty hit. A pussy hair can pull a train and I did whatever I had to do get laid.       A few changes in the way you carry yourself doesn't mean that you're  pretending to be something that you're not. It simply shows that you recognize fault or shortcomings in yourself and have the confidence and discipline to change them. Emulating what you want to be is the only way to ensure a real change in character. Fake it 'till you make it. The behaviors below are fundamental and influence your actions and responses at a root level. Integrate a few of these into daily life and be thorough. Half-assing or discounting the importance of truly committing yourself to the action will only succeed in making you look schizo and blaming poor results on me.        Be patient. You only get one chance at a first impression. It's true. You will only be truly and consciously measured by another person once.  So, if you're moving to a new workplace or school- great. Best-case scenario is a fresh start, otherwise it will take awhile to really change the form of you. The subconscious mind is a slow worker and you need it to form new memories, which it hardly ever does, and selectively replace tiny snippets of archived memory that has already been chemically mapped. Your new behavior has to be passively noticed which won't be easy, it's hard to overwrite a loud memory with a quiet one and most of this list contains behavior of low key and low key doesn't grab attention very easily. You will have to actively train your brain to make these changes-to remind yourself but within 3 weeks or so, it'll be pretty natural and automatic. Don't expect feedback or visible results. Like I said-   be patient. Life is a marathon and you have plenty of time. 

            Below is a checklist (kinda). Read it and check off any that apply to you. Don't lie to yourself. It's stupid.    And if you have to read any of these more than once, you're looking for an excuse and I suggest you just check it off. The list is self-explanatory.  What NOT to do...

1.   Speak without a point. The more you talk, the less people will listen. Consider talking as an expense and make it count. Mean everything you say. This gives you gravity. When you do talk, speak softly. Make them work to hear you. This gives you respect as the effort involved in listening to you will be obvious to all.
2. Produce un-needed negativity. It's petty and looks ugly on you. Don't put other people (or things) down or talk about them. It'll be subconsciously recognized as an agenda or an attempt to influence others to feel as you do. 
3. Settle for anything less than the your first choice. Leaving with less than you came for signals weakness and undermines gravity. Compromise only if it suits you and never too quickly. Leaving empty handed is better than leaving with what no one else wanted. Desperation is for the chumps. Keep preferences and expectations to yourself. If you leave with the big squishy, act as if you adore the big squishy above all others. 
4. Aim low and attempt to work up. The world is your oyster and 2's will come after 10's if needed but a 10 will never, ever, ever follow a 2. Aim high and be patient.
5. Lose your cool. Because you will lose your cool. Control of yourself is among the bare minimum of expectations. 
6. Keep poor company. Association is paramount to everything. Loneliness will serve you more than any amount of lopsided friendships.
7. Explain your actions. Sometimes it's harmless but usually, an explanation is just a plea for validation. 
8. Seek validation. Validation is for the weak and/or unsure. Removes from your gravity.
9. Apologize without true need. Brad Pitt doesn't apologize because he ate the last bowl of cereal. Fuck you. Eat oatmeal.
10. Get caught in a lie. Be careful with your lies. A lie implies shame of action. People rarely forgive and never forget it.  
11. Be caught unprepared. It'll still happen but you can minimize it with little effort. Have an answer for everything without blowing smoke. an "I don't know" is bad but stupid bullsh*t is worse.
12. Kiss and tell. Unless you're 13ish.     Some people find this difficult. The reward of discovery by a source other than you will be greater than anything you gain by telling anyone yourself. It's nearly impossible to say it without it coming off as bragging. (includes "smell my finger")
13. Take or do more than you can handle. Being called a pussy is much better than looking like a moron. Bet.
14. Allow yourself to be embarrassed. I'm not talking about your cheeks flushing because of a girl. I mean, don't put yourself in a position to do something that you do badly or allow anyone else to put you in that position. Admitting defeat may sometimes be the best option. Humiliation is embarrassment that is deliberately caused by another in an effort to undermine you. This can rarely go unanswered, but above all else, mantain your dignity.
15. Fail to recognize situations that call for humility. Everyone is drawn to confidence but confidence is a close cousin to cockiness. Cockiness can be positive but you had better  f*ckin' deliver. If you question the outcome, trade cockiness for humility as quickly as possible. Humility, when done right, should look like generosity. No one likes a sore loser. Winning and losing should look the same. Mostly.
16. Allow yourself to be trapped. Most of these situations can be avoided by thinking a few moves ahead. Play out the whole story and anticipate every response for every action. Always leave a way out for everyone involved unless you have a sure win.  If the situation has you at odds with another, plan your rival a way out that will leave his testicles intact.  Make sure that this opening comes at least 2 moves before you are forced to commit. Always know how much juice it will take to justify the squeeze.

  Your reputation is a measure of your gravity. Points are easy to lose but can only be lost by action. The less you do means the less you can do wrong. Gaining a point back is difficult so it's wise not to risk the points you already have. Don't sell them cheaply and don't volunteer yourself for dumb sh*t. If nothing good can come of it, why do it? Risk vs. Reward.

   

Everything We Think We Know About Addiction Is Wrong

I am a firm believer that half of the addicts at any one time are not of their own free will. Yes. There are plenty of people that just like getting high but the physical addiction of opiates is a brand new animal to everyone that encounters it. No other recreational drug has such an effect on the body. Those of you who may think that these people are weak-minded or weak-willed are terribly mistaken. The average drug user barely even believes in physical addiction until it happens to them and is so much worse than they had ever imagined. How do you go to work when you're so violently ill? How do you take care of your kids? You get more dope, that's how.  Every day.  It's not enjoyable and they never touch it again. You understand the gift it is just to allow someone the time to heal? 2 or 3 weeks is a long time to look after someone's affairs while they climb out of a stupidly deep hole that they dug themselves into. There is no need to remind most of them to feel guilty. Please, remember this if your son or daughter finds themselves in this position. Or maybe you, yourself.

REFORM: The Way We Think.

                                                                                                REFORM:  The Way We Think.
by Dennis Pulley

Now that we’ve utilized a certain method for a certain task for an extended amount of time..

     We should  know what is lacking and what works. We have the insight needed to improve upon our current system or scrap it altogether in favor of a new system if needed. We should anticipate and welcome this. Know thy learning curve and don’t be afraid to call it what it is. Some of our most integrated institutions, infrastructures and methods of doing mundane things have become outdated and/or primitive. Think big. We have outgrown many of our customs but we continue to peck at it because the inefficiency that has crept up, in time, is easier to swallow than the infra-cost of newer programs. It seems like too much work, too much opposition and besides, who wants to give up rituals that have become part of our culture. As any professional investor will tell you, the inability to cut loss is a sure way to continue losing. You don’t remain married to a bad investment. This advice is as sound for your portfolio as it is for America’s. It’s just on a much larger scale.  I’ll start with the obvious.

          Your car, its’ fuel and the road it rode in on

     What?! What the fuck are you talking about…our cars! Are you stupid? See, this is why no one likes you, Dennis.

      I’m all for the BIG, BOLD ideas. Why pussyfoot around. Cars, as a mode of transportation for the masses is absolutely inefficient, expensive, dangerous and creates many, many more problems than the one teeny, tiny inconvenience that it was created for. 

 was a problem. Not necessarily for the everyday man but for the masses. For trade. An individual’s range of influence was limited by his feet and the shoes of his horse to less than 10 miles or so. How successful were Power Lunches when you smelled like horse sweat! Wealth just doesn’t grow in stagnant pools. Ideas and money must flow as freely as possible for the nation to prosper and the Automobile filled that void perfectly. As far as we knew at that time anyway. Now the world runs on fossil fuels, billions and billions spent building roads, bridges and other infrastructure. Americans spend nearly 22% of their earnings on cars, Trucks and SUV’s. It’s costing us our planet and we just ignore the cost of human life these things take. Daughters, sons. Moms , dads and even babies die in collisions. Daily. I ask that everyone take two steps back and ask yourself the question.

          In that particular day and age, transportation

   Is this really the best we can do?

It’s been about 100 years and the only improvement made is in the speed that we build them and the price that they now cost. Oh yes, I forgot the HUGE advances in safety! Billions were spent on  Air bags, Reinforced side curtains, fuel tanks that rarely explode and seat belts for all those within. WhooHooo! Not one device for pedestrians, or victims of Impaired and/or reckless drivers. SUV’s that can give you directions in a sultry voice, start itself up and keep the climate at a mild 70 degrees still don’t have the technology of a breathalyzer machine to at least cut down on the dumb shit. Did you know that Breathalyzer machines have been on the market since 1958 and cost less than $100 for a good one? Auto manufacturers fit the back of the headrests with Tv’s and X-Box’s because it makes them about $1000 more per vehicle but haven’t found a way to integrate a $100 machine that would save lives!   ANYWAY. I’m getting off topic.

OK, let’s all take that step back and rethink this whole dinosaur of a process for getting from Point A to Point B. Think BIG.

   The entire system is trash. It simply costs too much and is too inefficient for this day and age. What if you no longer had to own a car, pay for gas or spend billions and billions of tax dollars on paved roadways and the amount of infrastructure that goes with it. The wars over fuel and the lives lost in accidents. There are better ways to accomplish the purpose that automobiles serve and it all starts with REFORM. 

   

REFORM begins with pain. Pain begins with money.

    People as a whole, act like electricity, they will always take the path of least resistance unless otherwise persuaded. We’re also like frogs that have had water boiled under them so slowly that it gets shrugged off as global warming. We, today, are not affected by the cost of the initial investment nor do have a good grip on operating and maintenance costs.  Average Americans have absolutely no idea of the budget or where it goes. We are so far removed from the process that we hardly give it a second thought. Even as the average American spends $9,641 per year just for the privilege of driving their own car. $9,641!  Oh yeah,   That number is after taxes! $9,641 is the 2013 front end price only! It includes the cost of your vehicle, gas, insurance and maintenance.

·         5.4 million dollars  in street lights in Va beach 2013

The Implosion of America

The Implosion of America by Dennis Pulley

    


       The rise and fall of great civilizations are recorded by hashmarks on the timeline of world history, what goes up, must come down and I never expected America to be any different but I'm pretty disappointed in our willingness to hasten the death and the efficiency in which we do so. We're going out like the proverbial frog relaxing in a pot of slowly boiling water. Stupidly and with eyes wide open.  Most of us are quite aware of the cause of our impending doom, but we choose to keep quiet, steady the boat and remain politically correct in public, but in the privacy of our own  kitchen tables we raise the hammer of righteousness in one hand and extend the finger of blame with the other. If you're not outraged, then you're probably the guy we bitch about. America will fall from within by those that ride the backs of others and the boom of our silence as we spectate. There is a growing culture of those that take advantage of the system and a great divide has opened up among our own people. Americans no longer ask what they can do for their country; our flag is constantly flown overnight and in the rain and the Star Spangled Banner fails to bring the lump to the throats of it's people. Very few of us sacrifice at all for the good of country because we are too busy trying to get over when we can before someone else takes it. Welfare fraud is at an all time high among those that are poor but not quite poor enough, and keeping pace, fraud in the banks and on Wall Street by those that are already rich but not rich enough. Are we all happy? Is this really what we have allowed our country to be reduced to? Do you remember how much was sacrificed by our forefathers? What would they say? What would your grandfathers say if they saw this?

      Undeserved disability claims, food stamps that you could live without, Section 8 housing subsidies, mortgage fraud, insider trading, 100 million dollar salaries for corporate officers that pay their employees minimum wage. You know who you are and you're killing our country. The middle class loves America and we're fast figuring out that the Upper and Lower classes depend on us, but we don't need you for anything! Real life depends upon productivity and it's time for a corporate split. You do you and we'll do us!

      Bring on the shantytowns! Americans', up until now, have lacked the stomach for visible poverty and for too long, we have spent money we couldn't afford to combat this epidemic. In 1933 President Roosevelt put forth the New Deal as a way for Americas' poor to pull themselves above the poverty line. Unfortunately, as time went on, these social programs became a way of life for some and for political reasons alone, they've never been reformed. Now, we have an entire population of those that take advantage of the welfare system and teach their sons and daughters the same way of life and the rest of the country is sick of it. A reasonable limit on these benefits is soon coming and those that don't conform will no longer be the burden of John Q. Taxpayer. The government will have to part with vast tracts of land for the homeless to settle on and the productive citizens must get used to it. People will die, but America will grow stronger just by drawing that line. There is no way around this. Our survival depends upon it. 2 + 2 + 4 and this outcome is just as definite.

   

     Reform won't be easy but it will remove the main dividing factor in our society. You go without if you don't pitch in. That is a universal truth. Now, I'm not against helping those whom the programs were designed for. The truly needy. For 1 year only. If you can't find a job in a year, the government will offer you one. Federal and State Governments employ huge numbers of people to do everything from picking up trash to engineering bridges. As a taxpayer, I pay for DMV agents, Police officers, Sanitation workers and I see no reason to give away money. Welfare recipients are already being paid, why not offer a career? This is the spirit of State Aid! A paycheck to those that need it most.If you are healthy enough to sit on your couch and watch T.V., I promise I can fit you for a job that benefits your country. Of course, there will be those that we have to write off. Those that just refuse to pull their own weight. That's what the shantytowns are for. America must to look someone right in the eyes and say "Tough titties! We've given you many chances and you haven't done your part. Good bye." The same holds true with the health insurance reform. Why should I pay double for my health insurance and some pay absolutely nothing.    

Ashes, Ashes, We all fall down.

These abusers use the E.R. as a Primary Care Physician and never pay the bill. Health insurance rates have got to cover these things, health care is, after all, a business. Americans must be willing to allow people to die due to their decision not to purchase a health insurance plan. These people will take advantage  of the rest of us for as long as we allow them to do so. It's time to nut up, America!

      

America as a Welfare State

             

America as a Welfare State

By Dennis Pulley

                                   

Welfare was meant to be a temporary hand-up.                           Not A way of life.

                         

                        What happened? Why do we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of by our own citizens?

     We’ve grown use to

the dysfunction           

 of some of our largest political and social authorities and we have become immune to the effects that it has had on nearly all aspects of fundamental American values and beliefs. The attitude and social norms of being an American have been drastically altered in a very short span of time due to the near vertical split of our population on issues of Social Welfare programs and the investment taxpayers put into it.

Pride

       America has long been “The Land of Opportunity” and the ideal that hard work can be the great equalizer. That anyone willing to put in the effort would be rewarded with success. That a country of misfits and cast-offs sacrificed all to bring the most diverse populations together in a common goal. Freedom. This is a great source of national pride and for 175 years Americans of all backgrounds, class and color, had this in common. Flags were always saluted on their way up the pole every morning and observed in silence as it was lowered each evening. 30 years ago, an American flag left flying overnight or in the rain would have attracted some unwanted attention to say the least. National pride was at peak levels across the income brackets, political affiliations were mildly partisan based and this continued for decades. Enter the 1970’s which saw a steady increase of income inequality.  America witnessed almost parallel transformations of both its economic structure and the nature of its political conflict..(Poole, Keith T.)  

            The Middle Class as known throughout the 20^th century slowly ceased to be. It didn’t happen overnight, but America’s economic system has drastically changed.   Between 1992 and 2008 the rising generation (those between 20 and 30)found that the manner of achieving the American Dream of upward mobility had changed completely. The model that Americans had out so much time into, the model that had been studied for over a century, no longer worked. Shrinking world markets, bad economic policy or just the effects of 175 years of prosperity, all took their tolls on half of our population. This has incited dissent of the policy makers and finger pointing from the bottom earning half.

         Wealth is still being maintained quite easily in the upper echelons due to the near zero interest rates. Inflation alone will keep those well off enough to borrow in the black with little effort. This further divides the two classes as implementation of this type of fiscal policy only benefits those with access to large sums of money! There is no trickle down as this is either used for imports or spent on Wall Street, Those who need it the most have been excluded and are freed from the guilt of pursuing any and all tax backed subsidies available. The dynamics of the present economy for the poorer half of America are fluid and hinge upon Niche marketing  and opportunistic transactions. This is a recipe for Boom and Bust on the micro-level creating an economic environment that policy can’t yet quantify let alone react to. It’s an entirely different market than current poverty line policy addresses. Average household earnings have fallen, therefore welfare has exploded. Nearly 4.75% of GDP went to social programs in 2010 which is about 40% higher than the historical averages and still growing. The stigma has been slowly and quietly disappearing for two decades and a culture of  working the system has formed. This has driven a wedge between the two classes that will become more difficult to overcome with every passing year. Many depend on government subsidies for their housing and food and have become permanent fixtures in these programs. Their only job is to meet criteria.  Recipients of state or federal aid are now raising children that follow the exact same path. 

       America’s lower class has fallen into anomie and American pride is

Word!


         gone for the majority of its citizens. 

     

     We are now divided 49% to 51% on nearly every issue. All upward movement from below will soon disappear as those nearing retirement age are the last of the middle class. The is but one logical conclusion to this if it goes on much longer:  Shantytowns in every city. Starvation, disease and crime will rise to levels of a third world nation. Subsidies can not go on forever. The upper class bears the brunt as it’s still thought of as a helping hand  to those temporarily down on their luck. It’s an investment in the recipients themselves and no one believes that it’s paying off for anyone let alone for America herself.. Programs like Section 8 and SNAP have created a great deal of animosity towards recipients from above and the  economic policy legislation and the standard practice of American corporations to take the money made from cheap government loans and free trade agreements and move it offshore has moved the rest of the country against the upper earners.There is currently a 3 year waiting list for Section 8 here in Hampton and  every slot gets filled. It’s hard to invest in someone that has not found the means after 3 years. State, local and federal governments are among the country’s largest hiring bodies and it would just make sense to provide career opportunities in lieu of a handout..             

     During the Great Depression of the 1930’s, local and state governments along with private charities were overwhelmed by needy families seeking food, clothing and shelter. In 1935, welfare for poor children and other dependent persons became a federal responsibility.( Bria 143) In 2014 nearly 35% of Americans were receiving welfare in one form or another. The highest percentage to date..  .
 

  Only we can fix this. An entire culture  has been formed with the need to exploit the system for its survival. Recipients have made full-time jobs of remaining eligible for these social programs and is passed down from generation to generation. This needs to be changed. Starting with our young people.